013120

I picked out my new glasses today. I waited an hour and probably would've been longer if I didn't say something at half an hour. I'm meeting this guy tonight, I'm really nervous and kind of excited. He seems great, but after everything that's happened, I'm a little skeptical. I just keep trying to tell myself it'll be okay. I did finally read yesterday. I think I might take a quick nap.

012920

Maybe I read and write more when things are bad. Music is good all the time. I can't believe it's almost Feb. I don't have much I want to say, I just realized I hadn't put anything on here in a bit. I'm getting new glasses Fri.

012220

I had a lot of good dreams last night, but I don't really remember them now. One of my coworkers got a promotion so we're going to get a new person soon. I need to read today, I didn't yesterday and I'm not sure about the day before. I checked out an audiobook on Latin. I've been listening to music a lot. I almost passed out Monday. I need a new car. I think I'm going to record some of my poems.

011920

I'm pretty depressed, but I'm trying to push through it. I'm going to church again. I don't know if I'll ever get it. My back hurts. I saw a new counselor, she seems ok so far. I'm having my makeup singing lesson tomorrow. It's finally acting like winter. I just want to find my place in the world. I haven't been writing and I don't remember if I read yesterday. I didn't want to get dressed today, but I did. I don't know what else to say right now.

011520

I didn't plan on being awake yet. My thoughts are buzzy. There are things I could be doing but I'm trying to enjoy the quiet (except there's traffic so it's not really quiet). I have a lot on my mind, all the time. I've been having dreams that would've scared me before but now they just are. I somehow ended up with a pretty busy week. But I don't want to be bored, so I'll take it. I should probably just keep a journal since I doubt anyone reads this, but maybe one day, someone will. I wrote again yesterday, a poem. I like writing.

011320

Entered a poetry contest today.

I either want to go back to school, start volunteering again, or get a second job.

Got kind of a busy week ahead. Today was the first day I didn't get the urge to write in over a week.

Just trying to do better.

I won't let this depression win.

011220

I asked God to never be hurt again, and I heard a clap of thunder and my light flickered out. I said, "you heard me?" and there was another clap of thunder. I've written an album's worth of poems in the last week, plus blogging and the story for the program Friday. All this while losing my mind, holding it together somehow because I have to. 

I like the date.